but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
