i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
