She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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