in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
