Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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