No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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