At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
