my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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