Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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