I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i may or may not be watching the land before time
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
