he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
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Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
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We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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