I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I checked into jail on foursquare
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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