My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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