I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
