Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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