Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
my liver is dry heaving
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
