I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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