We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
