Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
