I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The best revenge is premature balding
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
