3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
