there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
