I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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