dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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