just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
