She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
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She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
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His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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