honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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