This dress was meant to end up on your floor
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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