You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket