Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...

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(817): Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch... http://tfl.nu/5oqr

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.

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(615): I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him. http://tfl.nu/4ib9

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(219): View more from Indiana

I thought Christmas was going to come before I did

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(219): I thought Christmas was going to come before I did http://tfl.nu/cili

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(626): View more from California

They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes

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(626): They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes http://tfl.nu/n6ba

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(302): View more from Delaware

and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...

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(302): and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare... http://tfl.nu/t5mw

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.

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(902): you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it. http://tfl.nu/s8ya

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(585): View more from New York

there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk

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(585): there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk http://tfl.nu/9sjy

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.

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(732): I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach. http://tfl.nu/2w13

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(609): View more from New Jersey

My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

Why?

(609): View more from New Jersey

Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."

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(609): My professor just gave us a margarita recipe. (1-609): Why? (609): Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life." http://tfl.nu/ong0

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.

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(864): Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some. http://tfl.nu/bkik

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.

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(252): Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation. http://tfl.nu/waj0

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight

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(902): Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight http://tfl.nu/n0ex

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(815): View more from Illinois

He would drink pee if it was in a beer can

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(815): He would drink pee if it was in a beer can http://tfl.nu/8ib0

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?

(1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.

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(902): Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on? (1-902): I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over. http://tfl.nu/3b2m

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(616): View more from Michigan

Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?

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(616): Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape? http://tfl.nu/8v8b

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