Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You smell like stripper and shame
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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