i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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