omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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