Im at strip club and am horny
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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