Pappa wants mamma naked
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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