Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
