i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
my liver is dry heaving
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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