Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
