hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
