im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
