called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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