im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
