I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
