I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
