im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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