I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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