So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
