Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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