addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
