you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Congratulations! We have a period
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