i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize