your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
