It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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