He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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