this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
All I want is dick and wine.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
