What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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