You're my little dorito
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
