dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
