Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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