i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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