This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
