He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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