you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
